Here’s to you, oh ‘Shunner of the Shield’. . . .

You know what I find entertaining? People who cannot swallow their pride and perform a remedial task to further their own progression. I was in Nagrand the other evening, queuing up for the Arena when I see a group looking to kill Durn the Hungerer. They had 4 people and just needed one more. Who was advertising this group needing a tank? A Warrior.


So I decided to chime in with my input. “Why don’t you just grab another DPS class and tank it?” Seemed like a simple enough request. What is his response? “It’s my $15, I can do whatever I want.” However he didn’t spell anything that well.

Yes, yes, we know it’s your 15 dollars. You can do whatever you want, and apparently you want to kill Durn. So further your own agenda and tank the mob. Put a shield on. Then to top it off, a level 70 paladin whispers me, who I can only assume is in the group. “He’s not specced Protection and can’t hold aggro.”

Seriously? A Warrior leveling up isn’t specced Protection? I am shocked by this sudden development. This is Durn the Hungerer. He’s not a raid mob. Not even an instance boss. An outdoor group quest. A level 67 Warrior better be able to tank it. Or else we have a serious ‘L2P’ situation here.

And the situation that takes the cake for me is the group in Shattrath looking to fill their group for a heroic instance. What do they need to be ready to go? A tank and a healer. What is the their current class composition? Warrior, Druid, Paladin.

Are you serious? I mean, really? In case you hadn’t noticed, there is a SERIOUS tank shortage in the game right now. And you have the audacity to ask for a tank and healer with that group combination?

There was an amazingly entertaining thread on the WoW forums the other day. Some of you might have seen it or heard similar things. It is basically a play on the ‘Real Men of Genius’ commercials. So I thought I would share my contribution to the thread with you:

Morning Glory Dew presents…Real Men of Warcraft Genius
(Real Men of Warcraft Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. I-don’t-have-to-tank-if-I-don’t-want-to guy
(Mr. I-don’t-have-to-tank-if-I-don’t-want-to guyyyyyyyy)

With your mighty 2-handed blue, a pally, and a druid, you are still in trade chat “LF1M tank”
(Hey, its your $15 dollarsssss!)

With your Cleave and Whirlwind at ready, you’re prepared to show these scrubs what real DPS is.
(Whhhhhy do all the mobs have Deep Woundssssss?)

As you mock Ret Paladins and Shadow Priests for not healing, you’re still in trade chat 2 hours later “LF1M tank”
(I’m nooooot specced Protection!!!!!!)

Shield Block? Defensive Stance? Sunder Armor? To you, they’re just wasted key bindings.
(I dooooon’t think I have that on my hotbarrrrr!)

So crack open a Morning Glory Dew, you ‘Shunner of the Shield’. Because without you, that 5-man heroic never would have found another DPS class.
(Mr. I-don’t-have-to-tank-if-I-don’t-want-to guy!)

About Drotara

Drotara (or BehemothDan) considers himself a geek on many levels. A web developer and programmer by trade, he has no shortage of geeky hobbies. When not fulfilling husband and daddy duties, he enjoys WoW, the WoW TCG, Magic: The Gathering, and great board games with friends and family.